“You’re kidding, right?”

I have tried everything to get this dog into a pool. Mostly so I could teach her how to safely get out of one if she ever fell in. When she was a puppy, I held her gently, walked into my neighbor’s pool, cooing as I walked about with her in my arms. After a few minutes, I’d face the stairs and gently release her where she’d paddle like a crazed kayaker until she got her footing on the stairs. Out she went, shaking herself off repeatedly as though she had been dunked in something too foul for words. There, standing on the concrete, she’d look down at me with her big amber eyes as if to say, “WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?” I did this on about three separate occasions. In hindsight, maybe that wasn’t a good idea. I also tried introducing her to a wading pool. She takes the concept of a wading pool very literally. She will wade into it with all four paws and retrieve her toys which lie at the bottom like sunken battleships, but mostly she will drink out of it. To Olive, any container, no matter how large or small that is filled with water is simply a water bowl for her to drink from. Yes, this means that the toilet seat must be in the down position at all times.