Patti Soldavini

Posts Tagged ‘bones’

Dog Watching

In dogs, humor, lifestyle, pets, weimaraners, writing on 01/23/2012 at 6:53 pm

"PLEASE change the channel."

If I see one more political commercial, I’m going to regurgitate my kibbles. And what’s with these guy’s names? Newt? Mitt? It sounds like a salamander is running against a baseball glove. Sometimes, you humans are hard to figure out. I think I smell a casserole cooking down the street. Am I drooling? I’m done watching “Dog Whisperer.” Please put the cartoon with the dogs in it back on. I liked that. Yes, I know they are dogs even though they are cartoon dogs. I don’t know how I know that, but I do. WHERE IS MY NEW KNUCKLE BONE? I really like these. Whose knuckle is it? I do like the Beggin’ strips commercial a lot. When is Spring coming? Where have all the little birds gone? The giant hawks circling overhead scare me. Pffffttttttt. Excuse me. My God, my nails are long. I look like Edward Scissorhands. I’m going to clean the kitchen counters now.

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Canine Musicology

In Uncategorized on 01/13/2011 at 7:27 pm

Ever notice the musicology of squeak toys? They have a limited range of distinct squeaks, but depending on how Olive squeezes them, they take on the quality of the Boston Symphony. The larger squeakers, when compressed slowly like an accordion actually emit a sound that resembles the word “people.” PEE-PULL, PEE-PULL. PEE-PULL. The smaller squeakers, compressed more rapidly sound like BE-BAD, BE-BAD, BE-BAD, BE-BAD, BE-BAD, BE-BAD, BE-BAD.

The sound I make when I’ve heard enough of Canine Concerto Minor? “STOP-IT. STOP-IT. STOP-IT.” I wonder if dogs use squeakers to try to communicate with us, using them as a sort of aural sign language. Really, maybe we’re just too stupid to get it.

Right now, Olive is lying in front of the pellet stove contentedly (and quietly) gnawing on a $27 Elk Antler which is so hard, it feels like the femur bone of a Triceratops. God knows what she’s sharpening her teeth for next…

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