Patti Soldavini

Posts Tagged ‘treats’

Call of The Wild

In Uncategorized on 01/23/2011 at 11:22 am

If I want to get Olive’s attention without saying a word, I just quietly open a flexible package of Fruitables or any other canine tidbit. It’s like watching Jack London’s “The Call of The Wild” spring to life. Olive’s ears, capable of picking up HDTV signals from outer space, wrinkle in delirious anticipation and within seconds, she has shot through the house like a lunatic pinball. She arrives at my side before I have even finished tearing open the package. She immediately sits with the perfect posture of a member of the royal family and looks up at me longingly. The pupils of her amber eyes dilate to the size of hot-air balloons. She’s trying to telepathically communicate with me now. If I listen very, very closely, this is what I hear: “OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE…” I toss her one of the 9-calorie treats and she’s so happy, she almost swallows it whole. Sometimes, when I’m in a rush and don’t have the time to play “tag” with Olive, I just grab a bag, stand quietly and TEAR THE BAG OPEN. Works every time. She’s by my side in an instant. Of course, in order for this bit to keep working, I do have to fork over a tidbit each time. Sometimes it’s pumpkin and banana or blueberry and pumpkin Fruitables, sometimes it’s Wagatha’s organic breakfast blend, which has such an authentic aroma of maple, oatmeal and apples that I feel like eating them. Or, it’s one of many other tantalizing flavor variations. This way, Olive becomes mentally engaged as she has no idea what flavor awaits her. She knows it will be something good, so it’s worth dropping the tasteless cotton candy-like dryer lint or fetid stinkbug she finds momentarily captivating.

Sticks R’ Us

In Uncategorized on 01/21/2011 at 7:02 pm

What? Did someone say “Bully Sticks?” Of course I know what they’re made from, I’m a Weimaraner. I’m keenly intelligent. Highly articulate. And very impatient with dolts of all species. Wait a second, I have to bite my tail…What were we talking about? Right, Bully Sticks. So fragrant. Like Chanel Number K9. If I could roll in its scent I would. I really don’t care if it was made from the privates of a kangaroo. Is there such a thing as Kanga Sticks? I’d like to try them too. You know what? Can you take me to a store where they sell all kinds of Sticks? Like Tiger and Lion Sticks. Elephant and Buffalo Sticks. Oh my God, my stomach is growling and I’m drooling. And I can’t stop fantasizing about ZEBRA STICKS. Hold it. I have to lick myself. Was I talking or were you talking? Did you just see that bird? I’m waiting for the spring when they turn red and ripen. And blue. The blue ones look like they might taste spicy. God, my toenails are long. I almost poked my own eye out before when I went to scratch my cheek. Oh look a mirror. Geez, I AM adorable. Here. I’m done with this Bully Stick, you can have the rest.

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