Patti Soldavini

The Defuser

In Uncategorized on 01/03/2011 at 2:56 pm

Olive may not have any thumbs, but the dog is exceptionally talented at zeroing in on the olfactory presence of the Bounce dryer sheet nestled inside a tangled pile of freshly dried clothes. Within seconds of identifying this tantalizing specially-formulated commercial odor, she plows her head into the dryer, (bystanders be damned!) dives into the pile of clothes and with the precision of a trained explosives expert extricates the dryer sheet and takes off with it dangling from her mouth like some cheap carnival prize. Getting her to give it up requires the negotiating skills of Henry Kissinger. It is important to her to hang onto it for as long as possible. This means she must fly up and down the three levels of stairs at least three times, run around the whole house like her tail is on fire, occasionally pausing only to gently gnaw on the dryer sheet. The only way I have been able to get her to give it up is by offering  something better. If I yell the word “BISCUIT,” drawing it out…“B-I-S-C-U-I-T-T-T…in a voice so high pitched that it makes birds drop out of the sky, she races toward me, sits promptly, and instantly lets the dryer sheet drop as if it’s a dirty diaper.

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