"Yes Master, it was a biological imperative."
I deserved this one. The other night, I placed a freshly roasted chicken on top of the counter while I left Olive in the kitchen unattended, eating her dinner. Meanwhile I sat in the dining room less than six feet from her as she hungrily munched away. It seemed like just seconds later I hear a “PLOP.” Instantly, I know what’s happened. It definitely sounded like the chicken taking a swan dive off the counter. I race into the kitchen just in time to see the still warm bird splattered across the floor; its carcass in pieces; the flesh angrily dislodged from its bones. “FOR GOD’S SAKE OLIVE, WAS THIS REALLY NECESSARY? YOU JUST HAD SOME FOR DINNER.” I try to keep her at bay while I scoop up the carcass, quickly snatch a solitary bone and toss it all into the trash. Now I’m on all fours myself, with my ass facing Jupiter, wiping the aromatic grease spill off the floor while Olive stands nearby quietly idling like an electric car, clearly aware that she should stay out of the way but biologically incapable of doing so. She starts licking the tile floor at the perimeter of the epicenter of the disaster. It was my own damn fault. Anyone who owns a weimaraner knows that the kitchen counters belong to them. Maybe I need to sprinkle a little cayenne pepper on the countertops to take back ownership. Maybe my little chicken thief will think twice the next time she observes food lounging on the counter.
Life With Olive 
We had the Race of the ‘Leg of Lamb’. Gus was laying Next to my Recliner Chair with me, watching Football. As my Wife was cooking a Leg of Lamb in the Kitchen, and the Smell had us both Salivating. My wife called, something about Helping Her…I did not pay attention, I kept watching TV…again her call…it was 4th down and Inches…did not see Gus get up and head for the Kitchen…As my wife was coming through the Dinning Room passing on one side of the dinning Table, Gus was on the Far side. Going in the opposite direction to the kitchen and the Leg of Lamb. My wife was asking for me to get the Large Serving Dish down, the Lamb was out of the Oven…even with it being so HOT, Gus had it in his Mighty Jaws. As we heard the Roasting Pan hit the Floor, my wife and I yelled “GUS” and we both took off Running for the Kitchen. As I came into the kitchen and hit the Grease on the floor and in time to see Gus’s tail disappear into our bedroom, I could hear him bouncing off the Bed.
This went on for a few Minuets around Four Rooms, Two laps till Gus made the Mistake of trying to Hide under our Queen size Bed. I was able to recover a good amount of the Lamb.
My Poor wife was sitting on the Kitchen Floor Laughing and Crying at the Same Time. There was Grease everywhere, with Gus just standing there with only a look a ‘Weimaraner’ can have “WHAT”…
That was hysterical. Thanks for making me laugh. These dogs are NUTS about food. You’d think Olive never ate the way she is constantly sweeping the area for food like a minesweeper!
A whole chicken sprinkled with a little cayenne pepper sounds wonderful – please book me a place at the counter 🙂