Patti Soldavini

Archive for June 27th, 2012|Daily archive page

Aye Aye Captain Olive!

In dogs, humor, lifestyle, pets, weimaraners, writing on 06/27/2012 at 9:30 pm

“What the HELL is The Bermuda Triangle?”

Olive, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re shipwrecked. Your ship has run aground. In the middle of the woods atop a mountain in Northern New Jersey. Tell me the truth. You were distracted from your duties as Captain weren’t you? I’ll bet there are no rodents of any size – regular or unusual – left on that ship. Look, you have mouse fur stuck to the corner of your lip. Say something. “IT’S NOT MOUSE FUR. IT’S, IT’S, I THINK IT’S RAT FUR.” Not about the fur, and if that’s true, that’s disgusting. What do you have to say for yourself? “I HATE FISH?”  Tune in again next time for another of Patti and Olive’s ridiculous half-act plays.

Birds: Bush Candy

In dogs, humor, lifestyle, pets, weimaraners, writing on 06/27/2012 at 9:09 pm

“Is this a candy bush?”

H-o-w  m-u-c-h  l-o-n-g-e-r  d-o  I  h-a-v-e  t-o  s-i-t  h-e-r-e  l-i-k-e  t-h-i-s? LOOK AT ALL THIS CANDY. This must be candy. It smells like candy. It looks like candy. I didn’t realize that candy grew on bushes. Can I have some candy? Oh look, a bird. Please can I have some candy? I promise I won’t eat all of them. Hey, are there any birds in there? Wait a minute. Is this how birds are born? Do they start out as bush candy?

Olive and The Ice Cream House

In dogs, humor, lifestyle, pets, weimaraners, writing on 06/27/2012 at 8:53 pm

“A Blue Jay soft serve with Squirrel sprinkles, please!”

Since I can’t take Olive to The Gingerbread Castle (which actually exists in New Jersey), because she would eat it, I took her to the “Neighborhood Ice Cream House.” The store’s proprietors, Julia and Lizzie, served real ice cream to guests from the 20-square foot store. Alas, Olive walked away empty-pawed. And with her digestive system still intact.

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